well......

i had to go to the yard when i knew there'd be no-one about - my ma's coming here at 4.30 - but it hought i'd try to ride.

I was correct to think that I would be better on the horse than on the ground athte moment. the difficulty being

1. getting on

2. getting her to go where I wanted without setting herself.

At the mounting block next to the muck heap, that was easy - turn the block so as she walks up to it she's facing some hay someone's put on it. she stands still, i get on, easy.

unfortunately, she didn't want to go into the arena. I could have lived with going down the hill and round the 20 acre had she wanted to do that; she didn't in fact know what she wanted, i don't think. But anyway, even if, having got to the top of the hill, she'd consented to go down it, i could see that the gate was shut (goodness knows why, it's always open, there's no stock in there - think a chap i'd seen on trail quad had shut it... ggrrhh).

She's in a bit, the myler combi, that is supposed to be one they can't really set their jaws against - she manages it though.... and i didn't want an argument given my ear ain't TOTALLY right (well, not totally sure that it is!) so got off, led her back. went to get stool and took it into arena. that didn't work. 1/2 hour alter, after being pushed off several times (cue pain in broken foot...) decided to go back to the mounting block next to the muck heap. got on; sorry, she said, not going back in arena. tied her up outside stable whilst i had a smoke and thought about it. decided, if food is motivational i'll tie haynet to arena fence to keep her occupied whilst i get on. good idea, you'd think, given that it worked at the mounting block. NOT. every time i got to the top of the step, she moved... and she does a nice line in pushing me so i have to step off quickly before i fall.

I gave up and turned her out.

and please, don't say I should spend more time on it. i get stressed, she knows she's stressing me, it becomes self defeating. and it hurts my foot.

i'll go back to having someone hold her for a while (ensure i go when there's someone there....) then maybe (assuming the suberpanel is the right thing) she'll eventually work out that it's not a problem again.

very annoying.

we did have a short spell last year when i could get on on my own, i'm sure....